John 16:17 Some of his disciples said to one another, "What is this that he says to us, 'A little while, and you will not see me, and again a little while, and you will see me'; and, 'because I go to the Father'?"We were reading this chapter on Sunday, and James wrote a haiku on this (which I can't remember completely) but the idea which really struck me, was about doubt and clarity. Of course I doubt, of course I have questions - even the disciples had lots of questions and they had Jesus walking and talking right in front of them! If they didn't understand with Jesus (God Himself) right there - well, in that case it's probably OK if I don't feel that I have a complete understanding of how God is working either!
This was a relief from the pressure I sometimes put on myself to have it all sorted out, to struggle and come to grips with everything, to feel I have a least a study plan for every question! This is hubris, and I need to get rid of it! I need to embrace the mystery and majesty of God, and rest in the sovereignty of God's will. I love the short email someone sent me:
It's amazing what God can do if we give him the reigns!When God reigns, He pours! I just need to let Him do it and to restrain myself from trying to fit his heavens into my head - that will only limit my perception of Him, and give me a headache. As we enter into Lent and the waiting time before Easter, I want to let go of my need to understand, and embrace waiting on God and letting Him be the mover and teacher. Here's a version of that Haiku (with apologies to James Carbines):
Jesus revealedTalking with God, face to faceYet questions abound
That's OK. The disciples just kept asking questions, and Jesus kept answering them, usually not in the ways they expected. I hope to follow in their footsteps; to keep going, keep asking and keep listening for the answers I don't expect!
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