Comparing Liturgies

Yesterday at Solace we had a Liturgy service! How unusual! It came at a good time for me, though, allowing me to compare first-hand the Anglican/Solacian liturgy with the Antiochian Orthodox Divine Liturgy.

In many ways, the substance was remarkably similar. This is not coincidental, I realize. The Anglican service preserves much of the original ideas from the Orthodox form, but re-framed for a modern time and new styles of thought. Some of the original prayers written for the Solace community are heart-stopping stuff too! I love these words of Jude's:

Let me be used by you or laid aside for you...

Scary to think that being laid aside could also be the will of God! This whole prayer is a fantastic example of how modern prayers in our own context and "voice" can help us speak out the thoughts of our hearts.

On the other hand the whole "group confession" thing just left me cold. Having now experienced the crucible of personal confession in the presence of a spiritual father - the whole group "think for a moment in silence" just doesn't cut it. There is no motivation to do the "hard work" of repentance, or even of serious self-examination. The opportunity is offered, but there is no structure or impetus to use it well and no accountability afterwards. As for group absolution - I'm sorry, but that just doesn't work well at all. There is no sense of actual contact between the personal sins and the impartial forgiveness - it is all too easy. The pressure, the discomfort of naming and owning sins out loud in the presence of another person is somehow necessary to the process.

I don't think the Catholic system of anonymous confession would work for me either. The whole point about being anonymous makes it comfortable, and indifferent. It would presumably be hard for a priest to hold anyone accountable for their penances if they don't even know who you are! Also, how can someone speak sensibly into my life and give serious spiritual advice when they don't know me from Adam? I would not take random advice from the most well-meaning of strangers - why would I take advice from a stranger I can't even see?

I suppose I am realizing again that to modify the Liturgy and alter the tradition risks losing the accumulated wisdom of the ages that this is the best and most useful way of doing it. But sometimes the risk is gain, and Jude's lovely prayer is part of that. Can I have both? I want both!