Fear of discipline

I wonder why so many parents don't seem to discipline their children? Is it that they don't know how? Or fear doing it? Or does it just seem like too much effort? I know many parents don't want to smack their children, so it is that they don't know any other ways?

Take one of the girls I am currently seeing; she is six years old and her mother is too frightened to tell her "no" about anything. She gets money from her mother's purse, goes to the shops, sleeps in her mother's bed and has tantrums when she doesn't get her own way. Her mother says she doesn't know what to do or doesn't have the energy to do it. She doesn't seem to realize that it is only going to get worse and harder to correct with time.

Other parents want to be "friends" with their children, and seem to feel it is "mean" to set limits or say no. They don't realize that their children need limits to feel safe (children with too much power in the family become anxious) and that teaching their child self-discipline comes after imposed family rules are learnt. Learning limitations on self and consideration for others is a basic part of life and I pity the children who don't learn that young - they often lack social skills, don't make friends easily and are in for serious disappointments in life.