Respecting the miracles of others

In "The Horse and His Boy" Aslan is the one behind all the stories, but it takes a long time for the people to realize it. Sometimes I wonder if I am more like the Giant than like Jill (Silver Chair) seeing coincidence instead of the Hand of God - as if the two were mutually exclusive! - and scoffing at other people's ideas of God's sovereignity.

Barb and I were talking recently about respecting other people's miracles, even when they don't necessarily seem like unequivocal miracles to us. I was reminded yet again how God is different to each person. This really shouldn't surprise me, since everyone is made differently it requires God to be different to each of us in order to meet us where we are. Our society has always taught me that "justice means equality", and yet I see that this is not always right. We also talk about a "case by case basis" which means dispensing justice differently depending on the situation. If we see the need for this, how much more must God!

I think the truth of it must be that God has a respect for individuals - greater than we do, generally, with our propensities to stereotype and fit people into "the system". God works in mysterious and varied ways, His wonders to perform. Today's reading is from Isaiah (58:8) and talks about how God is not a legalist - He wants us to do His will, more than to perform according to the Law. True fasting, in this context, is not about eating and drinking at all (whew! let off the hook there!) but about bringing justice and mercy and peace. So, this Lent I am not fasting from food (I have enough issues there already) but from sleep - the time I would otherwise be sleeping I am spending in the Word, meditation and prayer - and writing it all in here!

Suffering, then growth

Suffering and trials are at least as much a part of the Christian life as joy and blessings. Paul says to welcome trials, as they are necessary for spiritual growth. It is a sad reflection on us today that we would often choose comfort and ease over suffering and spiritual instruction! Jesus warns that the way of following Him is the way of taking up our cross, denying the self and serving others. It is strange today that the "prosperity gospel" of the Prayer of Jabez is so popular!

CS Lewis reflects in the "Screwtape Letters" that the events of this world are primarily raw material given to us to shape our spiritual development. If there were no disasters, no illness, no poverty we would have far fewer opportunities to develop communities, compassion and generosity. The Asian Tsunami created much suffering, but also much evidence of compassion and opportunities for people to give.

Being unequally yoked has been both a trial and a blessing. I have had many opportunities to learn lessons and to grow in prayer, humility, generosity and dependence on God. Because of my own brokenness and mistakes I have learned much of sympathy and compassion, in my weakness and need I have learned about God's strength. In my lack of power I have learned about trust in God's power. I only hope I can continue to grow, and perhaps become half as great a prayer warrior as Don H. and some of the ladies in WWAW!

Ash Wednesday and forgiveness

Today's reading for Ash Wednesday was Psalm 51: I acknowledge my transgressions and my sin is ever before me. I think a big part of understanding grace is understanding both the power of sin and the power of God. Sin is important, powerful and addictive. These things are true, but the power of God to forgive is even greater:

All the evil that man can work or think is to the mercy of God as one live coal in the sea.

I want to respond to sin as Peter did - to turn back to God with tears of repentance, and to continue in faith to encourage others and to build up the church. I am afraid that I sometimes respond more as Judas did: in pride and despair that my sins are too awful, to great for even God to forgive. I don't want to be that impressed with the power of sin! God can redeem even we who reject and betray him to his face, when we turn back and ask for forgiveness. If God forgives, we are forgiven. If God cleanses, we are clean. End of story. No need for ongoing guilt, self-punishment, penance, etc. No need for listening to our Accuser or doubting our salvation. He has washed us and we are whiter than snow - amazing grace!

Revelation, yet questions...

John 16:17 Some of his disciples said to one another, "What is this that he says to us, 'A little while, and you will not see me, and again a little while, and you will see me'; and, 'because I go to the Father'?"

We were reading this chapter on Sunday, and James wrote a haiku on this (which I can't remember completely) but the idea which really struck me, was about doubt and clarity. Of course I doubt, of course I have questions - even the disciples had lots of questions and they had Jesus walking and talking right in front of them! If they didn't understand with Jesus (God Himself) right there - well, in that case it's probably OK if I don't feel that I have a complete understanding of how God is working either!

This was a relief from the pressure I sometimes put on myself to have it all sorted out, to struggle and come to grips with everything, to feel I have a least a study plan for every question! This is hubris, and I need to get rid of it! I need to embrace the mystery and majesty of God, and rest in the sovereignty of God's will. I love the short email someone sent me:

It's amazing what God can do if we give him the reigns!

When God reigns, He pours! I just need to let Him do it and to restrain myself from trying to fit his heavens into my head - that will only limit my perception of Him, and give me a headache. As we enter into Lent and the waiting time before Easter, I want to let go of my need to understand, and embrace waiting on God and letting Him be the mover and teacher. Here's a version of that Haiku (with apologies to James Carbines):

Jesus revealed

Talking with God, face to face

Yet questions abound

That's OK. The disciples just kept asking questions, and Jesus kept answering them, usually not in the ways they expected. I hope to follow in their footsteps; to keep going, keep asking and keep listening for the answers I don't expect!

God as Mystery

Brian McLaren (again!) : Poetry is sane because it floats easily on an infinite sea. Reason seeks to cross the infinite sea, and so make it finite: the result is mental exhaustion… The poet only asks to get his head into the heavens. It is the logician who seeks to get the heavens into his head. And it is his head that splits.

Reading about the Orthodox Church (Greek Orthodox in particular) I am struck by how easily they acknowledge the unattainable mystery of God. This creates no particular problems, faith struggles or paradox for them, rather, it emphasizes the trust we must all have in God (though I sometimes think I hate to admit it). A part of me struggles against this attitude, calling it "anti-intellectual" or "lazy" or "complacent". The rest of me knows that God really is all these things, and it is a sin of hubris to claim otherwise! How dare I, a mere created creature, claim to be able to understand the mind of God - the claim is ludicrous! And yet, is that not exactly what I complain about in connection with my lack of understanding about the "why" of the tsunami, of hell, of unanswered prayer, of failings and fallenness within the church?

I love it that the Bible is not purely reasonable - it engages with our emotions, it wails and cries out, as well as teaches. It has the language of love, of poetry, of doubt, of war and of mystery. We cannot understand it all, yet with the help of the Holy Spirit we can understand more than we think, if we listen with the heart and soul, as well as the mind.

Church as community

Brian McLaren: it's not just about learning the practices: it's about entering the community.

Last Sunday we had a great church service, and an even better barbeque afterwards. It ended with three of us sitting on a picinc rug talking about the importance of community. We ourselves were one demonstration of community, but we talked about many other things as well! I brought a question I had, and we-the-church discussed it. In the process my thoughts were clarified I understood several things in a new way:

• the church is a community, not a building. I just have to keep reminding myself about this! I have a tendency to refer to "going to church" instead of "gathering as church".
• the church-as-community has a much wider mandate of care than just the teaching and worship which tend to characterize the church-as-Sunday-service. Caring for each other, supporting new mothers, reaching out to the community around us become much more natural activities for the church-as-community, and borders of serving those "outside" or "inside" much less important.
• church-as-community happens all over the place: home Bible studies, coffee shop discussions, lunch after church and picnic rugs are all included!
• church-as-community much more naturally tolerates differences of opinion within it than does the church-as-institution. We expect that others in the community will feel differently about some things and this doesn't seem to threaten us.
• church-as-community seems to be more comfortable with fuzzy edges - members can drift in or out, come sometimes/often/rarely without damaging anyone. Membership can be self-defined and can involve as much or as little commitment as a particular person feels comfortable with, and can take a variety of shapes which are not dependent on the length of membership. (Of course, the old proverb about getting out as much as you put in still applies.)
• we are in continuity with the church communities which have gone before us, and we can learn from their gains and from their mistakes.

We also talked about the many benefits (indeed the necessity) of being a part of the church community. In no particular order: we stimulate each other, challenge each other, hold one another accountable, teach one another, help one another, encourage one another, serve one another, serve as examples (both good and otherwise), inspire one another, speak the word of God to one another, rebuke one another, learn together, share our strengths and gifts, reinforce areas of weakness, stand in the gaps together and tell one another our story of what God has done.

We are continuing together to write our own story of what God is doing in us, and as we do so we encourage those who are faltering, inspire each other to grow, correct misunderstandings, learn to love and forgive, deal with conflict, reach out to those in need and together accomplish more than any one of us could do alone. Sounds like advancing the Kingdom of God to me!

Embrace the weirdness!

Jose Torres (via Brain McLaren): "If something is weird in the Bible, don't try to make it normal. Face its weirdness. Wrestle with it. Don't try to smooth the lumps and wrinkles in the bed; pull up the covers and see what's under there. Some of the greatest treasures come from the weirdest places."

This is a similar idea to what CS Lewis says about struggling with the tough bits of the Bible (can't find the quote right now) - in learning to think about things which seem strange to us is the greatest potential for God to really speak into our lives. If we only read that which is comfortable, sensible and familiar, are we really opening ourselves to change? Being transformed by the renewing of the mind takes work, and requires being open to the Spirit to start with (which is impossible if we already think we have all the answers).

Brian McLaren: Also, I think it's great to read weird commentaries - weird relative to your own upbringing or bias or training... In postmodern jargon, this involves listening to "the voice of the other" - seeing from someone else's perspective.

This is what happens to me when I am in church with a visitor (especially a non-Christian one). I listen to the sermon, the discussion, the prayers, etc with the mind of an outsider. It is a weird experience, but it informs how I speak, think and pray. It also allows me to question my assumptions, which I think is always a good thing. If it sounds weird to me with my "outsider" hat on, maybe there is something here worth thinking about more? Maybe the current Christian interpretation needs some adjusting? Always good to critique the bias, and try to hear the Spirit underneath.

I find this technique especially helpful when approaching a part of the Bible which I have a lot of baggage about: Genesis 1 & 2 being a prime example. For a long time, I only ever looked at this section of the Bible in the context of debate about Creation Vs. Evolution. I then found it hard to read Genesis through any other lens without hearing the voices of the debate in the background. This mould was broken when Olivia challenged us to read this as if it were the only part of the Bible we had: to focus on what the passage actually says about God. This was a revelation to me. Suddenly the voices were silenced, and I could see the glory and majesty of the Creator God. By stripping away my preconceptions of what the passage what about, I could read it afresh and be enlightened (just about blinded actually) by the light of the Spirit.