We're having a baby!

I can't believe it! I got to write in my diary twice, then it was all over! I don't know if this means Tereza's system works or not? I think it from the timing it must have been while we were on holidays, maybe even my birthday!

I have been feeling a little sick the last week or so, just intermittently and not particularly more in the morning, but I decided that working in a hospital has to have a few perks, so I went down to the Emergency Department and asked the consultant there how they usually do these tests. She said sure they could do one for me - was it for myself? I admitted that it was, but she said that was fine, and it's not often a paediatric registrar comes looking for a pregnancy test...

The nurse ran the test through the machine for me (tactfully not asking me for patient details) and thoughtfully left the room one the run was started, saying "You've got five minutes to amuse yourself." I tried to concentrate on writing notes, and checking my to-do list for the evening, but couldn't help keeping one eye on the timer.

00:03, 00:02 (Oh no, am I really ready for this?) 00:01 (Do I want it to be positive or negative? We've been trying for nearly two years altogether, but I'm still not sure I'm ready.) 00:00 Decision time! Computer printing result... Now I really can't stand it - I have to know, and yet I have to wait.

bHCG - positive

This little slip of paper in my hand, with no patient details, just the words:

May 23, 2005 bHCG positive

and now my life will never be the same, and I'm so happy! Also, I'm glad that I'm happy and that I am ready after all! I can't wait to tell everyone I know - I know I shouldn't, but I'm so delighted!

When I thought I could control my expression, I came out of the testing room, to find the nurse and the ED consultant waiting expectantly (!) outside. Swee said "So, did it work?" and I nodded, and the two of them looked at each other and at me and said "Well?" and I just could stop smiling and nodded, and they both hugged me and offered me the use of the office to make as many private phone calls as I liked.

I didn't want to tell Dean over the phone, so I took the little slip of paper and hid it in the bottom of my purse until the end of the shift. When I got home, I showed it to him and demanded my pink moccasins! (All the pregnant women on the labour ward at Northern wear pink moccasins, I think it's some kind of uniform. I had said that when I got pregnant I would start wearing moccasins - but now it's not a joke!)