Simplicity-Complexity

I always think of a spiral, the top half on a white background, the bottom half on a black background. As we go around the spiral we go through stages of simplicity, then into complexity, then back into simplicity, around and around with each spiral being bigger than the last. (Should I be encouraged that I am now confused at a higher level than before?)

Through the changes in the church situation with Solace, it feels like being tipped into a phase of complexity again - issues, struggles, uncertainty, doubt, unclear waters - this is a very "grey" phase! It is hard not to feel angry, resentful or regretful that the turmoil currently taking place in Solace is overflowing into other areas of faith: questions are arising with issues of women in authority, homosexuality, defining the church, etc. All difficult questions which may not have answers at all, certainly not easily.

It is hard not to resent being spilled suddenly out of my place in the sun, out of basking in simplicity, and being precipitated into another phase of complexity. Complexity means searching, questioning – work. Simplicity was about resting in faith, letting be, trusting God to work it all out. Complexity is a time of intellectual searching out, of testing and weighing, evaluating and sorting. I feel like I am learning more, but probably because this is my usual way of learning. Simplicity is learning through emotions, about trust, about leaning on God rather than on my own understanding. It can be easy in the sense of less work, but it can be frustrating from a sense of not being in control and not knowing what to do. I can only take so much simplicity before becoming frustrated. In contrast, an excess of complexity makes me tired and despairing. I don’t think I control the interface of simplicity-complexity, though I can see it when it occurs. That's probably for the best, since I don't think I would ever choose the seasons of complexity or the growth that comes with them!