The Hidden God

Mark 5:43 Jesus commanded them not to tell anyone what had happened...

This command comes right after the miracle of raising Jairus' daughter from the dead. Talking about this, someone said "So God conspires to keep himself hidden - how do you feel about that?" And I realized that what I feel is ANGRY! People need God, people need grace and love and forgiveness - how can He hide from them? People are genuinely searching, genuinely trying to believe, seeking him or lost in the multiplicity of religions - how can God possible justify hiding from them?

Looking further back in the story, even before Jesus goes in to heal the girl, he says to everyone outside "She is only sleeping" (Mark 5:39). I cynically thought at the time that this is so that they have an "out" not to believe if they choose not to. Jesus himself gives them an excuse, which they can choose to use so as not to believe. It reminds me a little of the story in John 12:29, where a voice speaks from heaven but people can't decide if it is the voice of an angel or just a bit of thunder. Finding this open option to believe or not in John's gospel in particular, strikes me as strange. John is the disciple who is the most emphatic about the love of God for people, his gospel the one which most emphasizes grace and forgiveness and love - why should this cruel dilemma appear here and not in any of the other gospels? Sounds more like Luke to be including every little detail!

Then I started to wonder - perhaps it is more of the grace and love of God after all? God gave me a choice to believe in Him or not, surely He must be equally gracious to everyone else! Perhaps God does not want to overwhelm us with His Presence, as must surely happen if we come face to face with God! Perhaps the Hidden God is the only one it is possible to "find". A God who is controlling everything, forcing everyone to His will, who is ever-present and makes His Presence continually felt, it would be hard to deny such a God but equally hard to have faith in or love such a God. If God truly desired to hide Himself completely, who could ever find Him? Perhaps it is only in that moment - when we have enough evidence to believe, but not quite enough to know - only then can we truly have free will, and only then can we truly be said to choose to love, to choose faith.