What is faith like?

Theology classes are continuing, and one of the people in my class the other day was musing that his faith is like a glass house, and studying the Bible and theology was like throwing stones at his faith house, so that now he was losing his certainty and didn't know what to believe anymore.

I must say that I was somewhat taken aback. Certainly Bible college is challenging, much of what we are learning I am finding unexpected, but hardly faith-destroying. I couldn't help thinking that a "glass house" is not how I care to think about my faith. It implies something fragile, brittle, to be protected and not challenged. Something where one crack might cause the whole edifice to come crashing down. Someone else described faith as a house of cards - a similar simile with the same drawbacks.

I prefer to think of faith as a rose bush. It goes through seasons of dryness, seasons of flowering, seasons when pruning is needed to make it more productive. If it ever stops growing, it dies. The longer it lives, the bigger and more productive it becomes. Obviously we are not talking here about a rose bush under my care (which would have a very short life) but a metaphorical rose bush, cared for by God, which is watered, pruned and challenged as needed to make it grow.

I would like to think that my faith is like that.

Pregnancy Week 24

Finally, I am getting to the "happy" part of being pregnant! The sickness is almost gone, I feel more energetic and am only sleeping 9-10 hours a night. Of course, this has all happened just as I cut down my hours at work! I've been suffering through tiredness, nausea and full-time work for months, and now that I finally reduce my hours I could probably cope with more work.

Ah well, I guess this means I get to spend more time on myself and the baby! My doctor has been telling me I need to exercise more, and I haven't yet got a pram, cot, baby seat, high chair or anything.

I still don't feel that I look "properly pregnant". I can feel the baby moving a lot now, though. It seems to like kicking me in the appendix! Last night for the first time the baby's movements were visible as I was sitting on the couch! There really is someone in there! And they seem to like swimming...

Pregnancy Week 22

I feel the baby moving all the time now, and Dean has felt it even through my skin as well! There is definitely someone else in there! I'm getting a proper "baby bump" at last, so people can tell that I am pregnant and not think that I just never had a waist at all...

I've been shopping for maternity clothes, as none of my regular pants fit my non-existant waist any more. I used to think that shopping for bathers was "feeling like a beached whale" time, but this is much worse! Everything makes me look like I'm at least 10 months pregnant, and overweight for that. It's like everything is designed to make you feel as ugly and clumsy and fat as possible.

My other gripe is that nothing is fitted properly. Just because I'm pregnant doesn't mean that I have gained an extra 10cm of height. I might need more room in the tummy, but I don't need more length in the legs! I also don't plan to put on weight in my knees, so the pants don't need to be big around there as well!

I think I'm going to be living in stretch clothing for the duration, and avoiding mirrors.

Pregnancy Week 20

I'm definitely feeling the baby move around a lot. It seems to move mostly when I sit or lie down, and settle to sleep when I walk around. I guess this is why babies like to be carried around by their parents walking to go to sleep once they are born!

Apparently the baby can hear now, so I should start listening to classical music...

Pregnancy Week 19

Well, this has been a big week! I thought I felt the first few flutters of the baby moving! It is a bit hard to tell, because I have so many strange pains and stretching feelings down there, but these little hints don't seem to be coming from me.

Also, we had our second ultrasound, and saw the baby again in amazing detail! We could see the baby sucking its thumb, waving its arms around, sleeping, smiling... It actually seems like there is a little person in there - separate from me just "being pregnant" if you know what I mean.

Pregnancy weeks 14-17

Everything continues pretty much the same - still sick, still tired. There is one new feature this last week - my gums have started bleeding when I brush my teeth.

It's official: I don't like being pregnant.

I tried to like it, I really did. I wanted to be excited and "glowing" and all the other things expectant mothers are supposed to feel. What I really feel is sick, tired and that despite all the extra effort I am putting in, that I am still functioning at somewhat less that my usual efficacy.

Oh, and my car broke down last week. I'm hoping this is the storm before the calm...

Pregnancy week 13

Today I met our obstetrician who is surprisingly short, but is very well spoken and sympathetic, and has very small hands, which I think must be an advantage in his profession. He listened and suggested ideas with exactly the right manner; not too condescendingly simplified, but without assuming too much either.

The other big landmark of the day was that I had breakfast! This is the first breakfast I have been able to "keep" for the last two months! Maybe this is it - the beginning of the end of the nausea! Yay! (And not before time either, since I have to work this weekend.)