Prayer Renews

"Prayer creates that openness where God can give himself to man...This openness does not simply come of itself."

This was certainly my experience last night at the Taize service. I planned to go, hoping to have a profound God-experience to revitalize my flagging spirits (which always seems to happen during Lent). I think I planned badly, because I went to a house inspection on the way there - a frame of mind guaranteed to produce critical thinking, and I was in a rush and running late.

In this context, it was hardly surprising that I found it difficult to settle down and listen to God. My head was full of calculations about how much the bank might lend us, whether to build our own place after all, where those last two bank statements went in the first place, what I have to do tomorrow, etc, etc. I tried several times to discipline my mind, but I just had that "hamster wheel" experience of running in place. By the time I settled enough to pray, the service was nearly over.

I wonder if this online Lent journal is really a good idea? Typing out my stream of consciousness is all very well, but I think I meditate and reflect better with an old-fashioned pen in my hand.