Oh God. Today I received a letter of complaint from a relative of a patient, which says that they are going to take the whole thing to the media - not to trial, to the media. I think I'd rather be sued. I feel sick. How can I trust my own judgement again? How can I stay at work today? How can I give advice, pass myself off as a person with medical knowledge and authority?
The other event of the day was one of the doctors in the ED had her wallet stolen. This is the second time in the same ED. M. was attacked by a parent of one of her patients (looking for drugs). Nice society we live in. Who would want to be a doctor anyway?
Sigh. Text for today: God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.
Very apt. True too - when I went into mental shutdown and couldn't face seeing a patient (or more accurately, seeing a parent) I went to the chapel. There, I could sit and think. Look at myself and decide if any of what they are saying is true, and if so, what to do about it. Know that whatever happens, I am still loved by God. There is comfort in that knowledge.
Then, I read a little of Romans (8:26) about how the Spirit prays for us when we don't know what to pray, intercedes for us with deep groans - to which I say Amen!
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