Always journeying, never arriving

This is an aspect of God I find both reassuring (because I will never come to the end of Him) and depressing (I will never know Him "well enough"). It is the task which can never be completed which daunts the heart, yet at the same time completed tasks are in the past and can never be done again, authors fully explored must give way to new ideas by new people - thank God that never happens with Him!

I am always amazed at the variety and difference of God. I was amazed when I first realized this, and I am amazed all over again each time I think about it. God is as different to every one of us as we are from each other. True justice but no sameness, to treat every single person as an individual, taking us all on a case-by-case basis with no "one size fits all", no precedents, no rules and no exceptions. He gives to us each as we need and demands of us as we are gifted and enabled (not necessarily in that order). His is the ultimate respect for the individual, with no illusion that we are all created equal! Love so amazing, so divine, so perfectly tailored and yet so demanding - no comparisons are possible!

Prayer: childlike or childish?

Henri Nouwen has hit the nail on the head once again! He likens our "childish" prayers to asking for a present from Santa Claus, and getting it and running away.

"All the attention is on the gift and none of the one who gives it... your spiritual life is reduced to a beeline toward what you want."

Ouch! Too true to be comfortable! So often my prayer life waxes and wanes with my feelings of being looked after, being tired, being secure, needing security. So often it reflects what *I* want and how *I* feel, and is dependent on my prayers being answered.

I have just finished a book in which a girl prays for twenty years to be rescued - and she finally is. Suddenly, her relationship with God falters - now she has what she needs, she needs a new way to relate to God. I wonder if this is why my prayers falter sometimes - I have everything I need, so I don't see God as "necessary" to work in my life. More than a grain of truth in that.

God sees everyone as special

"Once we deeply trust that we ourselves are precious in God's eyes, we are able to recognize the preciousness of others and their unique places in God's heart."

I think this is they key to evangelism: not to see others as projects, or as a series of arguments to be refuted, or even as people to be convinced. God sees us all as individuals, loves us as individual children, and we need to do the same with everyone. Believers are our brothers and sisters, to be loved and encouraged to grow in every way, including in faith. Non-Christians are also beloved children of God, to be loved and encouraged to grow and to seek God, in whatever way He chooses to reveal Himself to them. When we see people as individuals, then we see them as God sees them. Anything less does a disservice to God's message, and to the individual bearing the image of God in front of us.

Deep trust throughout the ages

The words of Psalm 23 are a prayer for people through the ages. They have been prayed many times, and are today, and will be for maybe thousands of years to come. As we pray these words we are surrounded by the body of Christ - the believers who came before and after us, those of the great united Church which is spread out through all of time. We hold the hands of those who went before us, in order to lead those who will follow us. There is a reassurance and truth in that.

We are not alone, standing on a limb, interpreting the Bible and thinking through doubts for the first time. We have the whole history of God with His people, and all the thoughts and wisdom of those who struggled before us. We still need to adapt the truths to our own time and place, but human nature doesn't change and neither does God. We have more in common (and more to learn) from the ancients and even the "recents" than we think.

Source of Joy

From Henri Nouwen:

Jesus says "In the world you will have troubles, but rejoice, for I have overcome the world." The surprise is not, unexpectedly, that things turn out better than expected. No, the real surprise is that God's light is more real that all the darkness, that God's truth is more powerful than all human lies, that God's love is stronger than death.

Excellent stuff! I admit that I do keep hoping God will change the reality of my everyday life, but even if that never happens, to know that God's light, love and truth are still there in the midst of it all is reassuring.

CS Lewis and Lazarus

Today at Solace I did a reading from CS Lewis "The Silver Chair" - the part where Jill, Eustace and Puddleglum have to decide if they are going to follow Aslan's command or not. I was struck once again at how Lewis so acutely understands the dilemmas of the human heart, and phrases them in ways that anyone could understand. In the end, their dilemma comes down to "He didn't tell us what would happen. He just told us what to do."

The reading from John was the death and raising of Lazarus. I couldn't help noticing that even those who loved Jesus, and those whom He loved also, they still suffered anxiety, disappointment, confusion, sickness and even death. It was all for the glory of God, but they didn't know that at the time.

This is such a contemporary problem - contemporary to everyone, everywhere, at all times - that God does not appear when we call, when we are sick and in need. That God does not answer our prayers promptly and the way we would prefer. That God works all things to His glory and our good, but without asking our permission or letting us know beforehand!

If God were to ask us "Is it OK if I give you a bit of temporary suffering and trials on earth, a bit of anxiety and uncertainty which will allow you to empathize with others and give you opportunities to grow in character, to witness and to minister, before I finally bring you into eternity with Me?" Then, I'm sure we would all agree and count ourselves lucky in the bargain! And yet - isn't this the situation we are in every day? Isn't this exactly the bargain we struck with God when we decided to follow Jesus' way in the first place?

The Path to Glory

Today's quote is about embracing our past, all of it, and giving thanks for it (all of it) in order to use all the lessons of the past in order to grow in our understanding of God's grace, mercy and capacity to forgive. The point is well made that Peter's denials were not an obstacle for him once he turned back, and may well have allowed him to have a better understanding of weakness and fear in others. His denial and forgiveness is certainly encouraging to me! In some ways I like Peter better that he denied and then returned, than if he had done neither.

It is true for me that my mistakes make me more understanding and merciful - I find it easier to forgive mistakes that I have made myself, and understand how they happened. Hard to embrace all of them though, and all the weaknesses they imply. Still, I live in hope!